Soooo I'm on holiday. YAY!
No work, no duties, nice food, nice people.. pretty much nice everything. And among all this I still find the time to randomly walk around youtube, check my subscriptions (why the hell am I not getting emails from youtube when they update?!), check out the favs of my subscriptions and stumble upon awesome stuff.
Like this.
Thursday, September 18, 2008
Monday, August 4, 2008
Google!
Wow, this is the first site Google shows up upon searching for w7e. Quite amusing. Also, I get around 10 hits every week, even if I don't write anything. Even more amusing. I should check out my statistics and find out what people searched for when they hit my blog. Because I'm pretty sure they didn't search for some random blog. LOL!
So yeah, I've had a couple of not so great experiences - regarding love, what else - but all in all I'm good.
I'm going on holiday soon, which will be awesome. Or so I hope, haha. I might die, which is a serious possibility regarding where I'm going, but I'm not scared. I might be put in jail upon me leaving the country, that scares me more. I might not come home for a very long time, which doesn't scare me either. It would just give me an excuse to not finish my education - again.
Well, I'm starving, so I'll go search for some food.
oh, music!!!! How could I forget!
- Anathema
- Lambchop
- Calexico
So yeah, I've had a couple of not so great experiences - regarding love, what else - but all in all I'm good.
I'm going on holiday soon, which will be awesome. Or so I hope, haha. I might die, which is a serious possibility regarding where I'm going, but I'm not scared. I might be put in jail upon me leaving the country, that scares me more. I might not come home for a very long time, which doesn't scare me either. It would just give me an excuse to not finish my education - again.
Well, I'm starving, so I'll go search for some food.
oh, music!!!! How could I forget!
- Anathema
- Lambchop
- Calexico
Friday, June 13, 2008
Woooow depression... ehm, I mean.. yes!!! Life is great!!!!!
What the fuck is with people?
Ok.. here's the facts:
* I like a person
* we get along really well
* I got a crush and ey are sexy
here's what happened:
* I tried to see em more often
* I put an effort into saying more than just "Hi"
* Ey asked me for how long I'd be around this time
* Ey asked me where my new place is
* I asked em, if ey wanted to go do something on the weekend
* When we met, ey gave me about 5 pieces of advise on how to meet people
* I got a mail from em, saying how the weekends are eir's alone, and for relationship, family, sports, etc
* I sent a reply saying, I only wanted us to be friends, and that it's totally fine.
Thing is:
IT'S NOT FINE!!!
I constantly get turned down. Either I like people who like me as a person, but for all sorts of reasons don't want to be with me. Be it that they want work to strictly stay work, be it that they aren't gay, be it that they are afraid of what might happen.
And the other part of people that do like me... well I don't like them. Not in a romantic kind of way anyways.
Seriously this kind of infatuation REALLY sucks. I fall for the same kind of people every single time. Usually older than me, and with one reason or the other, not to be with me.
I just don't get it.
What's so bad in a relationship or friendship with someone half your age? I have friends who are half my age, and sure, there are thing I don't get and things they don't get, but all in all we really get along.
Stupid bloody piece of shit society!
Back to my relationship with redwine. At least here I won't get turned down.
//on a side-note: I drank my first ever Champagne at work today!
Ok.. here's the facts:
* I like a person
* we get along really well
* I got a crush and ey are sexy
here's what happened:
* I tried to see em more often
* I put an effort into saying more than just "Hi"
* Ey asked me for how long I'd be around this time
* Ey asked me where my new place is
* I asked em, if ey wanted to go do something on the weekend
* When we met, ey gave me about 5 pieces of advise on how to meet people
* I got a mail from em, saying how the weekends are eir's alone, and for relationship, family, sports, etc
* I sent a reply saying, I only wanted us to be friends, and that it's totally fine.
Thing is:
IT'S NOT FINE!!!
I constantly get turned down. Either I like people who like me as a person, but for all sorts of reasons don't want to be with me. Be it that they want work to strictly stay work, be it that they aren't gay, be it that they are afraid of what might happen.
And the other part of people that do like me... well I don't like them. Not in a romantic kind of way anyways.
Seriously this kind of infatuation REALLY sucks. I fall for the same kind of people every single time. Usually older than me, and with one reason or the other, not to be with me.
I just don't get it.
What's so bad in a relationship or friendship with someone half your age? I have friends who are half my age, and sure, there are thing I don't get and things they don't get, but all in all we really get along.
Stupid bloody piece of shit society!
Back to my relationship with redwine. At least here I won't get turned down.
//on a side-note: I drank my first ever Champagne at work today!
Friday, June 6, 2008
Amazing...
I didn't post anything for weeks, and yet I had huge amounts of visitors in May. Where's the sense in that? Kinda weird.
unexplained phenomena
Hmm.. so what happened since my last post. Right now I'd say not much, but of course that's not true.
Let's see:
1) I'm at work again. No marks for my exams yet, but we're handing in the last piece of work today, so now it shouldn't take too long to get them all.
2) I moved into a flat (appartment) with 2 friends. So far it's going really well.
3) I've taken up piano lessons. Worst thing about those is simply, that they're expensive. Second worst thing is all the things I need to re-learn, or haven't learned in the first place that I need to learn now. C major scale.. haha.. but well.. it's not as easy as it sounds. I really like it. The teacher is great, and ey's showing me exactly all the things I haven't learned yet. Although it's a little frustrating, knowing that I played quite advanced Mozart and Beethoven and stuffs, and now I'm stuck with the most simple of things and they are actually hard.
4) Currently not in love with anyone. Quite surprisingly. Loving tons of people, but no infatuation. I'm quite glad about it, since it means a huge chaos-factor is removed from my life for now. There's a person whom I find very intriguing, but ey is - of course - not reachable for me. I tried to ask em out for a date-like thing, but got declined.
5) I'm getting my eyes operated. They'll be putting extra lenses inside my eye, and afterwards I'll be unbound from the burden of glasses! Hooray me. More about this some other time. And just to scare you off, a little video of what it'll be like:
Hum yes.. tons of posts in one. :D
unexplained phenomena
Hmm.. so what happened since my last post. Right now I'd say not much, but of course that's not true.
Let's see:
1) I'm at work again. No marks for my exams yet, but we're handing in the last piece of work today, so now it shouldn't take too long to get them all.
2) I moved into a flat (appartment) with 2 friends. So far it's going really well.
3) I've taken up piano lessons. Worst thing about those is simply, that they're expensive. Second worst thing is all the things I need to re-learn, or haven't learned in the first place that I need to learn now. C major scale.. haha.. but well.. it's not as easy as it sounds. I really like it. The teacher is great, and ey's showing me exactly all the things I haven't learned yet. Although it's a little frustrating, knowing that I played quite advanced Mozart and Beethoven and stuffs, and now I'm stuck with the most simple of things and they are actually hard.
4) Currently not in love with anyone. Quite surprisingly. Loving tons of people, but no infatuation. I'm quite glad about it, since it means a huge chaos-factor is removed from my life for now. There's a person whom I find very intriguing, but ey is - of course - not reachable for me. I tried to ask em out for a date-like thing, but got declined.
5) I'm getting my eyes operated. They'll be putting extra lenses inside my eye, and afterwards I'll be unbound from the burden of glasses! Hooray me. More about this some other time. And just to scare you off, a little video of what it'll be like:
Hum yes.. tons of posts in one. :D
Wednesday, March 26, 2008
So where's the difference?
love, longing, infatuation, attraction, having a crush, being in love, affection, desire...
When do you know which one of those it is that you're feeling?
How do you define it? Does love need to be defined? Then, if it doesn't... how do you draw a line between love and lust, infatuation and desire? Does there even have to be a line?
So I'm thinking, if the world is perfect, no there doesn't have to be a line. But it's not perfect, so yes, there needs to be lines. I certainly need them.
And in my eyes, yes, there is a difference between all those things.. well, tons of differences to be true.
But how do you know? Which one is important? Is lust important? Or is love? Are both? Or none?
If you could chose to have one fulfilled forever, which one would it be?
The way I behave, I guess my choice would be infatuation. But not the sloppy selfish kind.
No, it would have to be the one which feels like eternity. When you see the one you're infatuated with, and all you ever want to do is make them happy. If it happens they make you happy, too, along the way, that's all the better. So for me, the difference between love and lust is the point where you start to make a different choice. When I'm infatuated the sloppy selfish way, I want to be touched and held and just looked at in that special way. I get butterflys inside my stomach, sweaty hands, sad when I can't meet em. But the real way, the one that counts is, when I still want to be in contact, but not for me, for the other one. When I do stupid silly things, just to see em smile, even laugh about me. It's when you get the other one a coffee and never even think a second about being repaid. The only payment you receive is a smile, and that's even just a bonus. It's all just bonus.
It's just bad that this kind of caring is the one that seems to hurt the most. Seems like that right now anyways. Pfff, always seems like the worst. Wanting to do good, and not being allowed to.
Yesh, yesh, yesh... I'm rambling and being emo.. don't listen to me.
Have a nice day.
Listening to Scout Niblett - Drummer Boy
When do you know which one of those it is that you're feeling?
How do you define it? Does love need to be defined? Then, if it doesn't... how do you draw a line between love and lust, infatuation and desire? Does there even have to be a line?
So I'm thinking, if the world is perfect, no there doesn't have to be a line. But it's not perfect, so yes, there needs to be lines. I certainly need them.
And in my eyes, yes, there is a difference between all those things.. well, tons of differences to be true.
But how do you know? Which one is important? Is lust important? Or is love? Are both? Or none?
If you could chose to have one fulfilled forever, which one would it be?
The way I behave, I guess my choice would be infatuation. But not the sloppy selfish kind.
No, it would have to be the one which feels like eternity. When you see the one you're infatuated with, and all you ever want to do is make them happy. If it happens they make you happy, too, along the way, that's all the better. So for me, the difference between love and lust is the point where you start to make a different choice. When I'm infatuated the sloppy selfish way, I want to be touched and held and just looked at in that special way. I get butterflys inside my stomach, sweaty hands, sad when I can't meet em. But the real way, the one that counts is, when I still want to be in contact, but not for me, for the other one. When I do stupid silly things, just to see em smile, even laugh about me. It's when you get the other one a coffee and never even think a second about being repaid. The only payment you receive is a smile, and that's even just a bonus. It's all just bonus.
It's just bad that this kind of caring is the one that seems to hurt the most. Seems like that right now anyways. Pfff, always seems like the worst. Wanting to do good, and not being allowed to.
Yesh, yesh, yesh... I'm rambling and being emo.. don't listen to me.
Have a nice day.
Listening to Scout Niblett - Drummer Boy
Tuesday, February 12, 2008
Trancecore - wtf?!
So... long time no posting.
A few weeks ago I had a virus. That really sucked. I had avast! updated and running, and still it fucked my system up. It messed up my wireless, made it impossible to install any antivirus programs or go into safe mode. So I did an internet scan of my personal files - which luckily none of were infected, moved them onto my external harddrive and formatted my laptop.
After being angry I was actually excited, 'cos for once I'd get to use format c:
But alas, that didn't work from a running windows system, so I had to use the XP CD.
It's all up and running again, although I still miss quite a few programs, but I'll just install them when I actually need them.
Class was cool last week. We had some seminar from thursday til saturday, and half the course didn't even turn up. Which is quite a lot, regarding that my course is less than 20 people. So the ones that did come had quite some fun.
On friday we went bowling. So now my legs and right arm are still a bit sore, but it was fun. Especially since after 9 p.m. they turn on blacklight and the balls as well as the pins were glowing awesomely.
And on saturday some guy I know had a party for his birthday. Me and some friends went there even though we were super exhausted from the seminar all week. We were sure we'd only stay til 11 or something... But in the end we ended up staying til 5am. :D That was a great lot of fun.
All during the party we listened to Enter Shikari - Sorry, You're Not A Winner. And frankly I fucking love this song :D
So now as an ultimate consequence of this, I'm going on a festival in summer to see them. And also half my course is going, too. Wah, so much fun ahead!
A few weeks ago I had a virus. That really sucked. I had avast! updated and running, and still it fucked my system up. It messed up my wireless, made it impossible to install any antivirus programs or go into safe mode. So I did an internet scan of my personal files - which luckily none of were infected, moved them onto my external harddrive and formatted my laptop.
After being angry I was actually excited, 'cos for once I'd get to use format c:
But alas, that didn't work from a running windows system, so I had to use the XP CD.
It's all up and running again, although I still miss quite a few programs, but I'll just install them when I actually need them.
Class was cool last week. We had some seminar from thursday til saturday, and half the course didn't even turn up. Which is quite a lot, regarding that my course is less than 20 people. So the ones that did come had quite some fun.
On friday we went bowling. So now my legs and right arm are still a bit sore, but it was fun. Especially since after 9 p.m. they turn on blacklight and the balls as well as the pins were glowing awesomely.
And on saturday some guy I know had a party for his birthday. Me and some friends went there even though we were super exhausted from the seminar all week. We were sure we'd only stay til 11 or something... But in the end we ended up staying til 5am. :D That was a great lot of fun.
All during the party we listened to Enter Shikari - Sorry, You're Not A Winner. And frankly I fucking love this song :D
So now as an ultimate consequence of this, I'm going on a festival in summer to see them. And also half my course is going, too. Wah, so much fun ahead!
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Glimpse and glimpses and borders well guarded
Glimpse
Glimpse
Glimpse
Of
T O R C H L I G H T
Most on wood with oil
I want to scream!
SCREEEAAAM out my emotion!
pounding heart & sweaty hands
insides squirming like venomous snakes on their mating nights
I lost you before I even found you. A glimpse of you in my life. Slow motion & waltz rythms. Days melt down to hours and hours melt down to days. Time is frozen in time.
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