Saturday, November 24, 2007

all in my head?

So I've been listening to Rooney. Had the whole album on, and then song No. 10 made me hit z in Winamp and go back to listen to it again. And again. And again.

I told you before
I'm not looking for someone to hold me
Take your hand off my back
the weight is making me heavy
I don't like public affection
it belongs in the bedroom
Well I don't want to run around
I got plans in the afternoon

What did you expect?
Well I told you from the start
That I'm not your boyfriend

All the hope
All the pain
All the tears you cried
Every laugh
Every kiss
Every time I lied
Well I'm not what you think or dreamed of
It's all in your head

So what does that mean now? Basically I keep thinking about the border-soldier. Would this be what ey'd say to me if things were different, yet all the same? Does ey care? In any way?
Last time I saw em, we had a lot of eye contact. Never very long, because I was afraid I'd start crying, but quite a lot. I also hadn't expected to see em at all that day. I had been sure the 1min meeting the day before was the last one for now. Which I left without even saying good-bye. Ey said something to me, but there was someone else present, so I just felt I had to run away. I didn't want to start telling em things that are only for em, with someone else being there. And I also didn't want to force my presence on them.
So this unexpected new last meeting took me unaware. God, I wonder what ey could read from my eyes. Why was ey even looking my way, if ey believes in eir borders? Did ey just look the same at me as ey would've with anyone, and I'm just imagining it was way more than ey looked at my friends?
I'll never know I guess. There is no way I would ask em, I told em my good-byes and good wishes for the time to come. So now I'll just wait. Unless of course I can think of a relevant reason to speak to em. Which I guess I will never find.
Oh well... w7e!

Ok, not YouTube but...

Tom Milsom is teh hiro!!!



So this has been two posts about Tom Milsom. I guess I'll write about myself soon enough again.
Right now you should go and check out eir other youtube videos. They are amusing, amazing, funny, weird, odd, and generally entertaining.
I highly recommend eir 19 Penguins piece. But be sure to watch the short version first. It's better.

Right then, off to shower with Tom on repeat1. Woot. I should tell em that.

Tuesday, November 20, 2007

YouTube is teh hiro!

I loooove YouTube!

Free legal awesome music!!!

stars

I was shopping with my friend N. yesterday. Not shopping in the traditional sense of shoes and clothes and what-not, rather we went to buy some flowers for eir mum.
So anways, in the flower shop they had little stars made of polystyrene, painted with some glossy red paint and stuck them on metal rods.

Made me think how awesome it would be, if I could actually gather up some real stars, and say to the one I love "Here, I picked these for you."
A bouquet of stars. Real ones. That would be so cool. Imagine you could press them if they start to wither, so you can keep them forever. I think if you pressed a withering star and then kept it close, it would start glowing whenever the one who gave it to you thinks of you.

"I picked this especially for you."
*

Monday, November 19, 2007

still jazz tripping

So another one of my new found favourite artists of the moment is Silje Nergaard. Ey's got a super soft voice, eir lyrics are great, the music dimples along, yet it's not the least boring.

And it seems to be a perfect soundtrack for studying.

I've learned with eir songs in the background for about 4 hours now. Usually I gotta change music every 30 minutes or so when I study. There's only one song that was intense enough to wake me, each time it came along in shuffle mode.

It's eir song At First Light from the same album, and it's the following piece of lyrics that gets to me each time.
You're out of sight, not out of mind
Survived the night only to find
You're out of sight, not out of mind
You helped me see then robbed me blind

I guess it's cos it seems Silje's reading from my heart. Ey's not quite out of sight yet, but I rarely see em at all. Today I saw em for two rather short periods of time. Both of which ey robbed me blind. breathless. laughing. shaking. heart hurry.
And it hurts even more to know that ey'll be out of sight for real soon. I know I'll see em again (if Fate is not having a fit of cutting strings, or rearranging eir tapestry), but I don't know what it will be like then. Will I feel the same? Eir borders will still be there, simple matter of definition... how will I cope, will I need to cope at all?
Oh well, at the very least I'm creating my very own rollercoaster. My very own private little ride.

----------------
Currently listening to: Silje Nergaard - Når hun skal hjem
via FoxyTunes

Sunday, November 18, 2007

gentleman or so

Amusing things happen sometimes.
Yesterday I was told: "You're a perfect man". Just for helping a really nice girl into eir jacket and holding eir bag, ey was putting on eir scarf.
Now this whole thing would seem totally normal, if I wasn't a girl myself ^_^ And the guy who likes em, and took em on a date on friday was right next to us. So funny. Ey didn't even get the idea to do it. I wonder... but I generally wonder too much.. so I shouldn't.
I'm guessing on some part of me, ey is right with what ey said. I really enjoyed doing that, but I don't like it, when guys do it to me. Makes me feel like a granny. Now, holding doors open for me, that's fine. I don't know why I like the one courtesy, and don't like the other.

I do know that I do like that girl though. But 1) I'm far too occupied with the border-drawing-person and 2) I think ey'll end up with the non-gentleman-guy anyways...

But I liked being called a "perfect man".

Huh, what happened?

It's already gone.
Or is it?
Where'd it go?
Away? Hiding? Death?
Oh, wait..
No.
Yes.
I don't know.
If it's gone, what happens now?
I don't believe this.
It's not gone.
Ah yes, here we go.
Yup, still there.
Simply laying low.