depression VS runnning

Most of today's afternoon I was totally depressed. I listenend to the same song 73 times in a row, didn't smile, didn't chew my chewing gum... I basically just sat there and let the whole world be what it is whithout caring really. As well as simply being depressed, I was worried about someone really close to me. I don't have a way of helping or knowing about that though, so that pulled me down even more. Then my 4 times Ragnarok hubby came online, and ey was down, too. And ey's never down. Mostly ey just says "normal" when I ask how ey feels.
Such a weird day.

Just a bit later I was talking to Paint, and he told me "just be careful you don't get hurt". I think it's already too late for that... But some part of me actually thinks that's fine. Which is confusing the rest of me a lot. It's like being a multi-headed animal. One head wants food, the other drink and the third maybe just wants to sleep. Except that the things my different egos want are less rudimentary than food and sleep. And just to make it clear right here and now, I'm not schizophrenic and I don't have any alter-egos. I simply don't know what I want most of the time, and I also don't understand half the stuff that goes on inside my head and heart...

Back to the day itself... When I got home I talked to yet another friend of mine, and ey was down, too. Maybe it's all got to do with the weather. Today was the first real autumn day here. There was still some sun, but mostly it was grey and rainy.

interlude
O.o that reminds me ^^ totally random... yesterday there was a squirrel watching my class at uni. That was totally cute. Haha, our prof got jealous of the squirrel, because it stole all the attention. :)
/interlude


So eventually I decided I gotta do something. Well no, I didn't really decide. It's just that I wanted to run yesterday, but couldn't because I had a friend visiting me. So my head just said I gotta run today. So I did. And it was a really great run. I still didn't recalibrate my Nike sensor, so the distance on that is a bit off still. Anyways, about a third through, I figured out how to breath without it being sore and causing stitches. So once breathing worked I could even run faster. ^^ From about half-way I simply got faster and faster... it was almost real running at the end instead of slow-ass jogging. XD

So now I feel really good. I can still feel my earlier depression lingering around, but I think as long as I don't change my music from happy to sad stuff I should be fine for the rest of today...

Ugh. Running makes me cough.